oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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