This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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