I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Still dying that you shit outside
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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