that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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