don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
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