I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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