first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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