the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
