I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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