69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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