His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
