Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
