it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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