i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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