I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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