brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
