Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize