I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
