is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The feeling are messing with the penis
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
