How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I would fuck him just for his dog
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