she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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