I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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