she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
