Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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