community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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