Tell her she can't have a vagina
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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