sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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