I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
