whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
