haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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