first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
