I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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