dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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