I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
