He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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