Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
