i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
