I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
