and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
