your room smells of hookers.
And success
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It's just like the Real World with babies
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
