she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
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I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He has the fingertips of a God
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