I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
