Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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