You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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