Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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