She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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