drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
