hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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