carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
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4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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