im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
