I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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