I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
