I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize