there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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