I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
