she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
