And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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