why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
