So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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