Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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