what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Randomize
