Just fell off a train. Bad.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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