Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I need moral support for this bender
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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