we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
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i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
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I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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