Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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