Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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