Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
