he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
honey bunches of taint.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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