so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
